Once upon a time…
He told me he loved me, I did not know what to say. He told me he loved me and I did not answer back. He had been the one to hold my hand. He had been the one to walk me home. He had been the one I had dreamed to be with… and yet I could not say I love you back. No awkward silence… I think he knew I would not say it. At least not yet, not in that moment. And once again I fell in love. I knew I loved him but I was afraid to let him know. What if this was to good to be true? What if I told him my feelings and authorised him to hurt them? I didn’t feel ready but he knew what I felt.
He told me he was scared of losing me, I did not know what to say. He told me he had thought of what life would be without me and my heart melted again. He had been the one to make me laugh. He had been the guy I secretly wanted to be with… and yet I could not say the same words, not be in the same place. But he knew it, he knew I felt it too. He read my letters. He saw my eyes. He understood my feelings… and that, was all that mattered.
He told me he would miss me; I could see the tears in his eyes. He told me it would not be the same from now on, and I knew it wouldn’t, no matter how hard we tried. He had been the one to remain strong. He had been the one to make me smile. And yet now he was breaking down. And I knew I would miss him but I also knew I would be back, and that was what I held on to.
He told me he would wait for me; I could see he was sincere. He told me he was confident and the Lord would give him strength. He had grown so much since I had met that rebel little boy in 2007, I knew he would stay true. He said it would not be like other relationships; that I could trust in him. And I knew it would not be easy but I knew our bond was strong.
So I told him that I loved him, I was the one to hold his hand. So I told him I was scared of losing him but I knew that I would not. And I told him I would miss him but that the wait would be worthwhile. I told him I would come back and be with him.
Now after 5 years together these things are still so true. But the smiles are so much bigger because we know this time is nothing compared to the life we will live together strengthened by this whole experience.
It is then I knew it was for ever after.